


Black Holes and Lost Time

by kristsune



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: But it gets better I promise, M/M, first half is really quite angsty, jesse is in a lot of pain, the ending even ended up happier than i expected, warning for depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 08:42:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7633054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kristsune/pseuds/kristsune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I received this beautiful prompt from tumblr:  jesse, grief-stricken, believing kix is dead, volunteers for a dangerous mission into the center of the galaxy. BUT the center has a black hole like many other galaxies so time gets distorted around it. It's a week or two for Jesse but decades for the rest of the galaxy. he flies back out fifty years later– running right into a ship with kix on board.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Black Holes and Lost Time

**Author's Note:**

> Ok. So I got this prompt and I instantly adored it. This is actually an alternate ending to [ Four times Kix opened his eyes, and one time he didn't](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7373365). You don't need to read it before this, but you would get Kix's pov. I tried to make the cut to this fic as obvious as I could.  
> Unbeta'd because I am impatient. Please excuse the bad grammar and poor punctuation.

“I’ll do it, sir.” Jesse volunteered.

“Are you sure Jesse?” Rex asked, “This is a particularly dangerous mission. Command was questioning even sending a sentient at all because of how high risk it is.”

“It’s fine Rex. I’ll do it.” Jesse noted the concerned look on Rex’s face, but Jesse honestly couldn’t find the energy to care.

That wasn’t entirely true. Jesse still cared about what happened to his other brothers, but Kix disappeared three weeks ago, and nothing had felt the same since.

Colors looked duller, sounds harsher, and it wasn’t even that the food tasted bad, more like it had no taste at all. 

Kix had only been gone three weeks, and Jesse could barely even remember what had happened in that time. Days blurred together. Everything was fuzzy, with sharp points of clarity during battle. He may barely be able to function day to day, but he knew when he had to pull himself together to keep any of his other brothers from getting hurt. Kix would never forgive him if he let someone get injured on his watch.

Rex stopped giving him extra duties a week previous. Jesse just spent the extra time curled up on his bunk ignoring the outside world. What few duties he still had, he would perform in competent silence, and then return to his bunk.

Sometimes Echo or Rex would stop by and sit with him. Rex would try and talk with him, Jesse would never answer. He appreciated the effort, but would prefer if Rex didn’t waste his time with him. 

Echo, he didn’t mind as much. Echo at least had some sort of idea what he was going though. When Echo found out about what happened to Fives, he had been inconsolable for days. Kix had been the only one to get through to him. It took Echo awhile, but he came back. He was a useful part of the team again. 

When Echo came to Jesse he wouldn’t say a word. Sometimes he would sit across from him and just put a hand on Jesse’s shoulder. There were times Jesse thought Echo had gained psychic abilities during his tenure at Techno Core, because Echo could tell when everything was just too much. Everything hurt, Jesse couldn’t breathe through the pain. And Echo was there. Still blessedly silent, but held him close, allowing Jesse to voice his grief. 

Not long after one of those breakdowns, Jesse had a revelation as to why he needed to take this new high risk mission. He realized he was becoming a liability to his brothers. He couldn't continue the path he was on. If he could get good intel for them, then at least he was still being helpful. It would get him out of their way, so they could end this karking war.

So the next rotation, Jesse found himself on a small fast ship headed towards the center of a galaxy in the outer rim near wild space. He had supplies for a few weeks and a lot of down time in hyperspace.

Which unfortunately was exactly the thing that Jesse didn’t need.

So he slept. When he couldn’t sleep any longer he would exercise in the small confines of the central room. Run himself ragged until his limbs felt like rubber, and would fall flat on his stomach on the lone bunk and sleep for as long as he could. Rinse, wash, repeat.

It was during one of those black outs, when alarms started to scream and Jesse was up and at the controls faster than he thought possible. 

He was being wrenched out of hyperspace. 

He thought something must be wrong with his view screen. Rather than the stars popping back into existence, all he saw was black.

“Fuck.” Jesse said quietly to himself.

He flew straight into a black hole. This was not on any of the charts.

Luckily, it didn’t have a hold of him yet. First thing he did was send off all the data collected for the 501st. Hopefully it would be enough.

Next, he used every last shred of his piloting skills to slingshot himself around and away from the black hole. 

Jesse had no idea how long it took, but when he was safely away, at least four alarms started chiming, telling him he was almost out of fuel, and damage to the hull had the potential to degrade quickly and result in decompression.

Jesse found the nearest inhabited planet and set down in a secluded area. He didn’t want to get it too close to a populated area without knowing if this was Separatist or Republic controlled space.

He realized he couldn’t just walk around in his armor, so he pulled out a set of officer’s fatigues and started to unstitch the GAR insignia on the sleeve. Jesse may be half delirious with grief, but he wasn’t an idiot. It unfortunately still looked like a military uniform. Hopefully the lack of affiliations on it kept him from being too obvious.

Jesse debated about adding the hat, it completed the military look, but he didn’t have a better way to hide the majority of his tattoo. So he decided to wear it until he could find something better. 

Jesse trudged through the forest and walked into a completely unfamiliar city. Not only was it unusual because he had never been there, but there was so many things he didn’t recognize. Different techology, strange clothing, even the speeders looked different.

Jesse shrugged, and figured it had to do with this being the outer rim. Things were always different way out here. 

Jesse decided to duck into a market to see if he could find some less conspicuous clothes, or at least a better hat when he stopped dead in his tracks.

Sentients seemed to unconsciously sense something, and gave him a wide berth.

“Kixystix?” It came out barely louder than a whisper.

The man Jesse thought had to be Kix shook his head like he was trying to shake something off.

“Kixystix _please_. Is that you?!” Jesse was pretty sure the ‘please’ came out as a sob.

The man turned around and Jesse was torn between absolute joy and heartbreak. That was definitely Kix, his brother, his lover, his friend right there in front of them. But something had happened to him, he looked terrible. Whatever had caused the bags under Kix eyes, the obvious weight loss, and the lack of self care, Jesse wanted to destroy it with every fiber of his being. Kix should never look like that. 

All of this went through Jesse’s mind in the ten steps it took for them to meet in the middle. They were going so fast Jesse felt his bones rattle when they clasped their arms around each other. 

Jesse wasn’t sure when either of them started crying, but he couldn’t care less. They were both talking at the same time. Jesse was asking, “Where did you go? What happened to you? Are you okay? Who did this to you?” Kix just kept repeating, “Oh gods, you’re alive, I can’t believe it, you’re alive.”

At some point they ended up on the ground, just holding each other. Jesse took a deep breath and realized they should probably move out of the public eye. He helped Kix stand up, who honestly looked like he would blow over in a strong wind; they kept their hands clasped together. 

“Come on, I’ve got a ship in the woods. I just need some fuel, and with a bit of repairs we can get back to the 501st in no time.” Jesse tried to pull Kix along but he didn’t budge. 

“Jesse, what year do you think it is?” Kix asked slowly with a determinedly blank look on his face.

“What do you mean, ‘What year is it?’ I just left the 501st a week and a half ago.” Jesse started to get worried by the look on Kix face. It morphed into something so sad and broken. Jesse just wanted to fix it, to make it better.

“Jesse we need to talk, and not here. Come with me. I have a room, everyone else will be planetside. Tell me how you got here while we walk.” Kix lead Jesse in the opposite direction. Jesse followed easily, he would follow Kix anywhere.

\-------

“They’re all dead.” Jesse repeated. 

They were seated side by side angled towards each other, knees touching. Kix was holding both of Jesse’s hands.

“I’m afraid so. Even if they were able to correct for the accelerated aging, there is almost no way any of our brothers could still be alive.”

“At least you looking the way you do makes a bit more sense,” Jesse cracked a watery smile as he lifted one of his hands to place it on Kix’s cheek. Kix leaned into the touch like he hadn’t felt anything like it for ages. He probably hadn’t.

Kix pulled Jesse over and laid them down on the bunk. Kix placed Jesse’s head on his chest and rubbed his hand in soothing motions over Jesse’s back. For the second time in one day Jesse had no recollection of when he started to cry. 

\-------

The pirates let Jesse join the crew. A friend of Kix’s was a friend of theirs. Not to mention they noticed how much Kix’s emotional state improved by having another clone on board. There was no way anyone could say no to that. 

The entire crew also noticed that neither of them let the other out of their sight. They no longer saw Kix without seeing Jesse as well. They were always touching in some form or another. Whether it was holding hands, an arm wrapped around one another, or just sitting next to each other, touching from their shoulders to their knees.

Jesse grew out his hair to try and cover at least part of his tattoo. He kept it at a short buzz. Occasionally one of the crew would see Kix running his hand through it. One time the Captain even overheard them talking about it.

“It feels soft just like Rex’s.”

Jesse hummed and replied, “Hellavua lot less blonde though.”

Kix snorted. “True.”

The Captain smiled, and backed away, pretty sure that that was the first time he had heard either of them talk about their brothers without sounding completely grief stricken.

Jesse refused to do any violence when he joined the crew. He became Kix’s assistant and defensive bodyguard. When they were in public either Kix didn’t notice, or was really good at pretending not to notice, that everyone kept their distance from him. Jesse radiated a fierce protectiveness that no one wanted to cross. 

\-------

One of the times Jesse and Kix were looking for more supplies on some backwater planet they heard something they never expected.

“Yes, General Organa, right this way.” 

Kix looked at Jesse with wide eyes, “Do you think?”

“I don’t know. Senator Organa was married right? He easily could have had children. Kenobi always talked very highly of him.” Jesse replied.

They both walked from around the corner to see if they could catch a glimpse of the mysterious general. Instead they almost stumbled into a short middle aged woman.

Kix instantly reached his hand out to steady her, “Sorry, ma’am, we weren’t watching where we were going.”

“Oh no, it’s quite alright, I was in a hurry myself.” She replied.

The woman looked up, and Jesse saw her expression morph from polite apologies, to shock and finally to awe. Jesse looked at Kix and then back at the woman. Not sure of what was happening.

“I can’t believe it. I didn’t know there were any of you left.” She said.

Both Jesse and Kix tried to awkwardly reply at the same time:

“I don’t know-”

“Any of whom left?”

“Clones, you’re clone troopers. My father told me about you. He showed me holos of you when I was a child. You protected us all, and were utterly betrayed in the end. You all deserved better than you got.”

Jesse and Kix were rendered speechless. Besides the pirates almost no one they encountered even remembered the clones. And if they started to get strange looks, they would play their appearance off as being twins. 

To hear such reverence in reference to them was a new and unusual experience. They never even received this kind of praise during the war.

Leia picked up on what was happening, “Why don’t you come with me, and we can have a chat.”

“Uhh, General, we have an appointment-” her aide tried to cut in.

“Reschedule it, I’ve got something more important right now.”

Jesse shrugged at Kix and they followed General Organa to a small building with sparse furnishings.

She told them about what was happening in the galaxy. The rise of the First Order, and how the Resistance that was struggling to keep up. How they could use every sentient they could get. How every single person counted, and helped push the darkness back. 

Kix introduced himself as a medic, and that Jesse would no longer participate in any fighting for a few reasons: One, because Kix needed and assistant. Two he refused to leave Kix’s side. Three because he just couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t handle the violence. 

The General, Leia, had no problems with this. Medics were always needed, even when they had tagalog bodyguards. She winked at Jesse when she said it. Jesse blushed, but knew she was just teasing him. They would get along fine.

“So, you’ll join the Resistance?” She asked after everything.

Jesse and Kix looked at each other, and had a silent conversation with small shoulder movements, hand motions and head tilting. 

Kix finally turned back to Leia and answered, “Yes, I think we will. We just need to let our, ahhh, our associates know that we will be leaving them.”

“The pirates? No need, I already recruited them for smuggling supplies to planets under First Order rule. Glad you decided to stay, but you were likely stuck with us either way.” She said with a mischievous smile.

Kix gave his most unimpressed face, but couldn’t hold it for long. It was nice to have real direction again. To stop drifting, to have a purpose again. 

“Maybe you will be able to help us find my brother, Luke Skywalker.” Leia threw out as she turned to leave the building.

“Brother?!”

“Skywalker?!!”

Kix stuck his face in his hands and mumbled, “Not another one.”

Jesse put his hand on Kix’s shoulder, “Well, at least it looks like this one won’t be leaping out of any falling buildings. Same sense of humor though.” 

After a moment Jesse moved his arm to wrap around Kix’s waist, and kissed his temple, “Come on, let’s see what we can do to be useful again.”

Kix shifted so he could put his arm around Jesse’s shoulders, “Yes, let’s.”

**Author's Note:**

> Random sidenote. I kept getting Queen's [ All Dead All Dead ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSG_mZaogsc) stuck in my head while thinking about this.


End file.
